CSI Therapy Session
by random-antics-echelon
Summary: The CSIs are in for a group counseling with Grace Lennon. How crazy can they get, right? oneshot.


-1**Disclaimer: Still don't own CSI, only my ideas**

**Uhm..poprox's'coke asked me to write this like, 4 months ago and it slipped my mind. So here it is. Kudos to poprox'n'coke for giving me this idea.**

CSI Therapy Session

It was your typical day in Vegas. Sunny, busy, and loud. Except for one thing, a group of ten people sat in a room in Grace Lennon's office. There were six CSIs, two detectives, one supervisor, and one psychiatrist.

Grace Lennon, the psychiatrist, panned around the room at the other nine people. Grissom sat, tightly holding a jar of ants. He was glaring daggers at Greg, who was holding a bottle of pesticide and looking worried. Greg was also attempting to hold Sara's hand while she stared at Grissom, drooling. Sofia looked like she wanted to throw a table at Sara for sitting next to Greg. She was also trying to pry off Nick, who was staring in terror at Grissom's jar of ants. Warrick watched Nick act neurotic, occasionally attempting to reach for the deck of cards on Grace's desk. Catherine drooled over Warrick while Jim was attempting to discreetly put small spiders in her hair. Ecklie simply sat in silence making "lover" faces at Grissom.

"Ok," Grace said, picking up her pencil. "Let's begin. Mr. Grissom, how about you go first."

Grissom stood, still holding his jar and glaring at Greg. "Hi, I'm Gil Grissom…and I have a problem with that man!" He pointed at Greg accusingly. "He attacked my babies with pesticide!"

Grace looked confused. "Babies?"

Grissom showed her his jar of ants, holding it up. He wondered why Nick whined. "Yes, my babies," he continued. "He's a murderer!"

"Am not!" Greg exclaimed, jumping up. "They got in the way of my date plan."

Grace looked to Greg. "Greg, tell us your story."

"I'm Greg Sanders," he began. Then he pointed at Sara. "I'm in love with her, but she's too infatuated with Grissom!"

"You bitch!" Ecklie and Sofia both yelled at the same time.

Sara looked confused. "Yes, I love Grissom, not Greg."

Greg's eyes welled with tears and he started sobbing. "Fine! I'd rather be dead without you!" He grabbed the pesticide bottle. "Parting is such sweet sorrow, good night good night until it be morrow."

"NO!" Grissom and Sofia screamed in unison. They both leaped at Greg. Grissom tossed the jar of ants and Sofia threw off Nick…who caught the jar. Nick screeched and threw the jar at Jim, then he jumped into Warrick's lap.

"No! I'm useless without Sara!" Greg cried as Sofia and Grissom pinned him to the floor.

Sofia stroked his cheek. "It's ok…forget Sara and come with me."

Grissom started petting his other cheek. "I didn't know you knew Shakespeare," he said rather seductively.

Ecklie leapt out of his chair. "Hey! Grissom's mine!" He ran over and immediately punched Greg in the face.

Sofia, who was already in the process of beating Grissom with the pesticide bottle, got mad at Ecklie and the two started their own war.

Greg watched in disgusted. "I'm gonna be sick," he said, grabbing his stomach and running from the room.

"Baby, wait!" Sofia called, jumping off Ecklie and chasing after Greg.

Grace was quite confused now. She looked around and noticed Catherine glaring at Nick, who was still in Warrick's lap. "Um…Mr. Stokes? How about you go?"

Nick slowly got up. "I'm Nick Stokes…um…um…I don't like bugs!"

Grissom looked disgusted. "God, you're so egotistical! Don't give a crap about someone else's pets."

"At least stay off Warrick!" Catherine shouted, standing.

Grace looked at Catherine. "Go on, Ms. Willows."

"I'm Catherine Willows…and I want to marry Warrick!" Catherine jumped up and down, stomping her feet like a five year old throwing a fit because she didn't get her cookies. When she finally calmed down, she looked at Warrick. "But he obviously cares too much about Nick!"

"Not true!" Warrick exclaimed. He was constantly looking between Catherine and the card deck.

Catherine huffed. "I even got you these to get your mind out of the gutter!" She tossed him a small package.

He unwrapped it, reveling a brand new set of Elmo playing cards. "Cards!" Warrick squealed like a little girl. He jumped up. "I'm Warrick Brown." He pointed at Catherine. "And I LOVE that woman!"

Catherine smiled, then looked down to find a plethora of ants chilling on her shoulder. She suddenly shrieked and leaped up on Warrick's shoulders, sending ants everywhere. Nick shrieked and ran out of the room. Jim suddenly fell out of his chair laughing.

Grace jumped. "Detective Brass, are you ok?" Jim was in tears from laughing so hard.

It didn't take long for Catherine to notice that he was the one who put the bugs in her hair. She glared at him and fumed. "Jim Brass…I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!!!" She jumped off Warrick's shoulders and charged at him.

"Oh crap," Jim said. He jumped for the door as Catherine started beating him with the abandoned pesticide bottle. "Owie! Stop it!" He ran out with Catherine hot on his heels, and Warrick chasing after her.

Not three seconds later, Greg walked back in with Sofia. Greg was grinning like and idiot and Sofia looked pleased. They also had their arms around each other.

Sara immediately rushed to Greg. "You would die for me?" she asked, her eyes welling with tears. "I love you!" She grabbed him and kissed him. She was surprised when Sofia suddenly slapped her, sending her flying into an artificial tree. She looked up and glared at Sofia. "What was that for?"

Greg smiled. "Sofia did some pretty amazing…um, things…to me while I was in the bathroom. So I love her now."

Sara glared as Sofia and Greg started wildly making out with each other. She jumped up and charged at Sofia. "You boyfriend stealer!"

"Whoa, hold up," Greg said, separating the two. He suddenly got a crazy grin on his face. "Ok, the first one to the chapel down the street can marry me." He was literally knocked off his feet when the two women charged past him out the door. He stood up, smiled, and followed suit.

Grace had her head in her hands by now. She looked up to find Grissom and Ecklie left by themselves. Ecklie got up and crossed to Grissom, whispering something in his ear. When he was done, he walked out of the room in a seductive manner. Grissom grinned like an idiot and chased after him. Grace didn't want to know.

Now that the room was empty, Grace felt relieved. She got up and peered out the window. She thought she saw Greg and Sofia running out of the chapel, and Sara tied to a nearby fire hydrant. She jumped slightly when her phone went off. "Grace Lennon's office."

"Mrs. Lennon? Good to hear you. Listen, we're sending a private plane to take you to New York. You have a group CSI counseling meeting on Tuesday. See you at three AM!"

Grace hung up and sighed. "Peachy."

END

**All done. What do you think? Again, kudos to poprox'n'coke for giving me the idea. You can also read my CSI: MIAMI Therapy Session story. I like reviews!**


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